If you would’ve asked me 12 years ago, where I thought I would be in my thirties, I don’t think I would’ve ever pictured going back to college while also homeschooling my young kids.
But here I am.
A wife. A mom of four. A homeschool mom going into her seventh year of homeschool. And now, a college student again.
My decision to go back to college wasn’t made over night. It was one I actually had sitting in the back of my mind for quite a while now. Every so often, the thought would pop up and I’d just brush it off because that one thought always led me to many others that weren’t as encouraging.
The kids are too little.
Our life is too busy already.
Moneys tight as it is. Adding another bill? Can’t do.
There are more important things.
Eventually I realized that there really won’t ever be the “perfect” time to do it. So why not?
The Fears I Don’t Want to Talk About
Going back to college after so long feels different than going at 18. Part of me feels embarrassed and scared while the other part feels excited.
I mean, at 18, you’re expecting to go in there and learn something.
At my age? How will I be able to remember anything on top of everything else I have to remember?
One of my biggest fears is being able to keep up.
Will I be able to manage deadlines?
Will I understand the material?
What if everyone else seems younger, smarter, and more prepared than me?
How am I going to balance homeschooling my kids and taking college classes myself?
What happens when assignments are due on a busy and chaotic week for me?
What if one of the kids gets sick?
What if I fall behind?
As a mom, I’m used to carrying a lot on my shoulders, but adding college to an already busy schedule feels overwhelming just thinking about it. Not so much because I don’t want to put in the work, but because I know how much effort it’s going to take on my part.
What I’m Looking Forward To
Regardless of how daunting it feels to go back to college right now, I’m excited for it.
I’m excited to challenge myself.
I’m excited to learn something new.
I’m excited to pursue the career I’ve looked forward to but haven’t had the chance to finish.
I’ve learned a lot while being a mother, but one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that growth doesn’t stop just because you’re in a different season of life.
Believe it or not, in many ways, motherhood has prepared me for college better than I could’ve been when I was younger.
I’ve learned time management.
I’ve learned perseverance.
I’ve learned how to solve problems and adapt when things change.
I’m excited for the example this sets for my kids.
I want them to see that learning never stops. Even when you decide to go or not to go to college.
I want them to know that it’s okay to pursue your goals and passions later than planned.
I want them to know they don’t have to give up on their dreams just because they took a different path in life.
How I Plan to Make it Work
I don’t have a perfect plan that’s going to make it easy to balance college, homeschool, marriage, homemaking and motherhood as effortlessly as I’d like. But what I do have is commitment.
I’m giving myself permission to keep going even when it gets hard.
Not every assignment will get completed in a perfectly clean and ordered house.
Not every week will go as planned.
Some days will be messy.
Some weeks won’t go as planned.
And that’s okay.
I’m going to rely heavily on routines in this season.
If there’s one thing that homeschooling has taught me is that consistency matters a whole lot more than perfection. Small steps every day add up in the end.
I’m going to ask for help when I need it.
For as long as I’ve been a stay at home mom, I’ve tried to carry it all myself. But lately, life has been teaching me that there is strength in accepting help and support from those around us.
I’m going to remember why I’m doing this.
Not for a degree to hang on a wall.
Not to prove anything to anyone at all.
But because long ago, God placed in me a desire to be a resource, a friend, and a refuge to those people who are lacking exactly that in their lives. He’s giving me the desire to use the gifts he’s placed in me to help others.
To the mom whose thinking about going back
Maybe you’ve considered going back to college and now you find yourself here, reading this.
Maybe it’s been five years.
Maybe fifteen.
Maybe you’re convinced that it’s too late for you now.
And if that’s you, I want you to know that you’re not alone.
I don’t have this all figured out.
I’m still at the beginning of my own journey.
But I’m learning that courage isn’t always the absence of fear.
Sometimes courage looks like enrolling anyway.
Filling out the application anyway.
Taking the first class anyway.
Choosing growth even when you feel uncertain.
And that’s exactly what I’m doing myself.
One class. One term. One step at a time.
Let’s chat!