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A friend of mine, recently asked me, “Cynthia, how do you do it all”? My first reaction was to giggle because as much as I try, I can’t always do it all. I would like to. However, after seven years of being a stay-at-home mom (SAHM), I’ve finally come to the realization that life just happens. After our conversation, I sat back and reflected on everything I told her. It made me realize that us, SAHM’s, really do juggle a lot and it’s easy to become overwhelmed.
I don’t consider myself a know-it-all when it comes to home management and homemaking. But at one point, I dedicated a lot of my time to content creation in the homemaking niche. During this period, I prayed a lot to God for guidance on how to steward my home correctly. Prior to my homemaking content era, there was really no rhyme or rhythm to how I did things. It wasn’t until I began to prioritize my time with God that He started to pour wisdom into me in this area. Even so, I still don’t consider myself an expert. But I can share some of the things God taught me about balancing all the to-do’s in my every day as a SAHM.
A Faith-filled lense
Ask God for wisdom on stewarding your home well
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him” – James 1:5
The first and most important thing in balancing life as a SAHM is to ask God for wisdom. Probably needless to say, but this is crucial. If it weren’t for the guidance of the Holy Spirit and the Word of God, I probably would’ve still been pulling at my hair. I can’t even begin to count the many times I got overwhelmed and wanted to quit. Between being a mom, a wife, a homemaker, homeschooling and serving in the church, it was a lot to handle. I don’t think any one person can handle all of it with grace if not for God himself.
As James 1:5 says, God freely gives to us when we lack wisdom but ask Him for it. Asking Him shows our heart posture towards the very thing He has entrusted us with. And that heart posture should always be to please Him and bring Him glory in everything we do. We may not manage all of it perfectly. However, we still strive to be holy and perfect just as He is and do everything for His glory alone.
” So whether we are here in this body or away from this body, our goal is to please him.” – 2 Corinthians 5:9
Practical tips for balance life as a stay at home mom
Get yourself a planner and get organized
One of my biggest practical tips on balancing everything is to keep a planner. I’ve tried so many planner companies throughout the years and I’ve finally found the one I’ll probably stick with for years to come. I also use the calendar on my phone to stay organized. If you look at my phone calendar, it’s extremely colorful because I put everything in there! But I love it.
Having a planner and a calendar to keep track of everything has truly helped me to stay on tops of things.
If it’s not important or doesn’t have a deadline of ASAP then don’t worry about it. At least for now. Too many times we have so many things on our to-do list and the reality is that most of those things can actually wait. Think about what’s the most important task you have to get done by a certain deadline and then start with that.
Set boundaries and learn to say no
This is one is hard because naturally, we want to please people anyway we can. But when we don’t set boundaries, people will never know we’re either overwhelmed, too busy, or just can’t pile on another thing to our plate. It’s okay to say no and set some healthy boundaries.
Communicate with your husband
More often than not, our husbands are more than willing to give us a hand when we need it. It all balls down to how we communicate with him. We can either pour out our frustration on him in a passive aggressive way. Or we can voice our stress with love and kindness.
When I gave birth to our 4th child, I really thought I could handle it all, until I couldn’t. Laundry was piling up, the dishes seemed to be never ending, and I barely had the energy or time to get dinner on the table while breastfeeding. One day my husband came home from work and I just broke down. My husband was extremely understanding and let me know that I didn’t need to get everything done myself. That night and pretty much every night after that, he came home from work to help me around the house.
Communication is key.
Delegate Chores to your kids
Your kids are never too young to help with household chores. Of course, there is a certain age limit that I wouldn’t really assign a specific task to them, but they can still help in some way. My kids have been helping with chores since they were each around 4 years old.
They’ve helped with basic tasks like taking the clothes out of the dryer and dumping it into the laundry basket, putting away clean utensils, and dusting. As they get older, I add other chores. My 9 and 7 year old help with bathroom trashes, sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, and washing dishes. My 5 year old feeds the pets on a daily basis, helps wipe down countertops and dusts bookshelves. And they all put their clean laundry into their own drawers. I can’t tell how much of a relief I have felt since I began delegating chores.
The art and ministry of homemaking alongside your children is truly a blessing and one we should never take for granted. Although at times it can be overwhelming, there are things that we can do as SAHM’s to help ease our days. Remember, aside from anything practical you can do, the very first thing is always to seek and ask God for His wisdom in stewarding our home and responsibilities well.
Let’s chat!